Returning from a week long trip in Big Sky, Montana on Easter Sunday, while sitting with my best friend, recently recovering from brain surgery, I realized more thoroughly the complexity of life, or my life for that matter. There are so many things I want to do, be or see in this life; So many places I want to go; However, almost all of them conflicting.
Currently, I wish I was back in Big Sky. Usually around this time of year I long for beaches and warm water. Some days I'd love to find myself with the ever cheerful Irelanders at The Brazen Head (Dublin's oldest pub). But, I also love and need to be with those I love and care about. My family...best friend...boyfriend.
Everyone has similar conflicting desires/wants out of life. And for most, we won't be able to have or experience all we would like. I believe there's an inherent part of myself that clings to selfish desires found in the world. I also find there to be an even more prominent set of values and priorities engraved deep within myself. This set of priorities and values doesn't always reveal itself appropriately, and certainly is overcome by my human selfishness a lot of times. But when conflicting desires are given opportunity of fulfillment at precisely the same time as another, one want/desire will eventually overcome the other. Even more so when a want/desire is found in conflict with something I consider to be a need/or of highest priority.
I found this small revelation of theory come into play after returning from Big Sky. I'd love to be in the mountains, sun shining over them, right outside my window. But I can hardly compare this desire to being able to be at home with my best friend during the hardest time in her life.